It has come to my attention that my bit comparing John McCain to Grandpa Simpson wasn’t so original. What of it? I don’t have to impress you. Here is the real transcript of my interview with McCain.
How do you plan on defeating Senator Obama in the coming weeks?
I have a grave announcement. Anyone with a weak heart had better leave now. Goodbye.
Do you think Sarah Palin has the necessary experience to help you with your duties as president? Will she help you find Osama bin Laden, for example?
A woman? I'm trying to catch a monster, not find the quickest route to the mall!
Has there been an adverse reaction within the Republican party because of your reputation as a “maverick”?
Sure, everyone's always in favor of saving Hitler's brain, but put it in the body of a great white shark. Oh, suddenly you've gone too far!
I’m sorry. I don’t follow.
Yes, that sequence of words I just said made perfect sense.
If you are elected, it will be with a rather sizeable Democratic edge in both the House and the Senate. How would you handle working with a legislative side of the government filled with members of the opposing party?
Tell them I hate them!
How did you fall so far behind in the latest poll?
My hip hurts! I'm in the middle of cooking a turkey! I have warranty cards to fill out! I'm not just making excuses!
Senator McCain, I am told you have to go, it is time for your nap.
Yes, Dammit!
1 comment:
"Follow up, Sen McCain: What do you say about the report that even if every current CNN toss up went to you, you'd still lose by 8 electoral votes?"
"Good news! There's a TV report on with some very bad news."
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