Yesterday’s World Series game was washed out before the Phillies could win it all, and now we find out that it won’t be played out today either.
There is only one explanation for this: God wants the Rays to win because they dropped “Devil” from their names before the start of the season. This is consistent with Rockies' GM Dan O'Dowd's theory about last year’s pennant run – essentially saying that God wanted them to win because they were the more faithful team.
As such, I have a proposal. The team in Kansas City can no longer be called the Royals. Jesus is the only one who wears a crown. Therefore, I present you with…
The Kansas City Jesuses!
This guy right here can replace Slugerrrrrrrrerrr as the team mascot. The team is already thankfully bereft of any Jews or other heathens, so that means this is the final step towards having competitive baseball in Kansas City.
…until Utah gets a team named after Joseph Smith.
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