The Oscars always get it wrong

Nothing shows Hollywood's disconnect from America, from art, or from the filmmakers more than watching the Oscars. They never get the big awards right. Famously, they voted Ordinary People over Raging Bull, Gigi over Vertigo, and How Green Was My Valley over Citizen Kane. Way to go, Hollywood.

This year was no different. I am, of course, talking about Slumdog Millionaire winning Best Picture over Death Race. Some pretentious dribble love story over a heart-pumping car racing movie?

Let's look at the Best Picture nominees to see where they got it wrong.

Slumdog Millionaire

How far do you want me to suspend my disbelief, Hollywood? Some guy going on a game show to win lots of money, I get that, but the cheesy love story that goes with it? Also, it is in some made-up country called India. Not to get all PC on you, Hollywood (that's your job) I believe these people prefer to be called Native Americans.

Milk

This guy won Best Actor?

And he did so portraying a dead gay guy? If you could've predicted that twenty years ago, I'd have thought you'd smoked more bud than, well, Sean Penn.

Did anyone out there ever see Casualties of War? It's this pretentious anti-war movie with Michael J. Fox playing the naive kid and Sean Penn as the bad guy, and amoral American soldier in Vietnam. As Penn is about to rape a Vietnamese woman, he says as dark clouds circle him and tense music plays, "This is my rifle, this is my gun. This is for fighting, this is for fun." The hilarity of that line gets me every time, especially given the over-dramatic execution of it. Come on, Penn. Rape isn't funny.

Frost/Nixon

More historical babble. If I'm to understand Hollywood, if you make a historical political movie, and do it with a big budget and a name director, you get nominated for Best Picture.

Seriously, how am I supposed to take this movie seriously? Did you see the guy's hair? I know it's trying to be historically accurate, but did you have to take the worst part of the 1970s with you? Hopefully this movie doesn't bring back that haircut, along with the soaring gas prices, a recession, and an endless war in Asia....

The Reader

I frequently state that movies would be made better with more gratuitous nudity. I'm on board for that. But did it have to be British nudity?

 The Wrestler

I can actually get behind this movie. I think they should make a sequel: The Wrestler 2: The Chris Benoit Story. In The Wrestler, Mickey Rourke completes a stunning comeback into respectability. In another triumphant return to acting, OJ Simpson could play the lead in the sequel. Like Rourke, he could get Oscar nominated for playing himself.