Annual Baseball Prediction Debacle

It's that time of year again! Time for me to make bad, indefensible baseball predictions, promise to revisit them in October, then do no such thing. As usual, when these predictions look horrible before the All-Star break, I will deny ever having made them and will blame the cocaine cough syrup I am currently on.

 

AL East	Wins	Losses
Yankees	97	65
Red Sox	95	67
Rays	93	69
Orioles	75	87
Blue Jays	67	95
AL Central
Twins	87	75
Tigers	81	81
Indians	80	82
White Sox	80	82
Royals	74	88
AL West
Rangers	89	73
Mariners	85	77
Angels	82	80
Athletics	75	87

AL MVP: Alex Rodriguez

AL Cy Young Award: Zack Grienke*

AL Rookie of the Year: Brian Matusz

*I was a big believer in Cliff Lee this offseason, but he is currently battling a strained oblique, the kind of injury that may or may not linger. He also had foot surgery this offseason. However, given his pitching style, a move to SafeCo field in Seattle with the best defense in baseball behind him makes Lee a dangerous pitcher.

NL East	Wins	Losses
Phillies	90	72
Braves	85	77
Marlins	80	82
Mets	74	88
Nationals	72	90
NL Central
Cardinals	87	75
Reds	85	77
Cubs	84	78
Brewers	79	83
Pirates	73	89
Astros	67	95
NL West
Rockies	90	72
Dodgers	85	77
Giants	80	82
Diamondbacks	74	88
Padres	65	97

NL MVP: Albert Pujols. Again. Who else?

NL Cy Young Award: Ubaldo Jiminez

NL Rookie of the Year: Jason Hayward

 

ALCS: Red Sox over Yankees

NLCS: Rockies over Phillies

World Series: Red Sox over Rockies

Where is your money coming from?

The two biggest donors to the University of Kansas School of Business, as far as I can tell, represent Koch Industries and Phillip Anschutz. More on them in a minute.

I spent two years at KU earning my MBA. I studied in the Anschutz library. The lobby of the business school building is named for Koch (pronounced "Coke") and it has nice little plaques and whatnot thanking Koch Industries. Representatives from Koch came to speak with us, recruit us, and to describe their business practices.

Koch Industries is the second largest privately held company in America. They got their start in oil and natural gas and spread out to synthetic fibers made from petroleum derivatives. Lycra and Stainmaster are Koch products. From there, Koch diversified and started buying up other companies. While I was in school, Koch bought Georgia Pacific, the makers of Dixie cups and other paper products, and paid in cash. Koch has a lot of money coming in, although we don't know exatly how much because it's privately held and they don't have to disclose such numbers.

Philip Anschutz has a similarly diverse portfolio, one that started with railroads. He has a hand in petroleum. He as the CEO of Qwest, a communications company. Anschutz is a man I find particularly evil. Fortune named him "America's Greediest Billionaire." According to the bastion of truth that is Wikipedia, he:

• Helped fund Colorado's 1992 Amendment 2, a ballot initiative designed to overturn local and state laws that prohibit discrimination against individuals on the basis of sexual orientation but was invalidated by Romer v. Evans after it passed.^[20]
• Helped fund the Discovery Institute, a think tank based in Seattle, Washington that promotes intelligent design and criticizes evolution.^[21]
• Supported the Parents Television Council, a group that protests against television indecency.

 

So Anschutz uses his money to discriminate against gays, push his religious agenda in a war against science, and censor television. Nice.

I bring all this up because of an article I just read in the Huffington Post detailing Koch's spending habits. It seems that the petroleum company has spent millions of dollars propping up questionable "studies" about the effects of climate change. Of course, Koch has obvious conflict of interests here. I want their business to stay out of my debates.

There are questions that should be asked of the Al Gores of the world, but they shouldn't be asked by Koch. They should be asked by climatologists not oil barons who are paying people to call their opponents "Nazis," and "Hitler Youth" for their stances.

Good thing I had the sense not to work for Koch when their recruiters came rolling through Lawrence. I wouldn't want to be contributing to this nonsense.

Money and baseball

There's a good discussion of the time-value of money over at Baseball Prospectus. If you want to understand long-term investments, or if you want to understand why the Twins feel they can pay a catcher $184 million despite being a mid-market team, this is a good start.

That is all.

I don't know whether to laugh or to cry

Per Royals Review, quoting TMZ:

An ugly love triangle made its way to court today between Rod Stewart's son, Sean Stewart, Kansas City Royals catcher Jason Kendall and his estranged wife, Chantel.

TMZ was in court this AM as Kendall's lawyer made a bid to allow Kendall to take the divorcing couple's two kids to Kansas City for baseball season.
Chantel, who came to court with boyfriend Sean Stewart, is trying to block the move. There have been numerous accusations between Jason and Chantel of physical and emotional abuse.
Chantel has suggested in legal papers that Jason is overusing Adderall, which he says he's taking for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

Read more: http://www.tmz.com/2010/03/08/love-triangle-kansas-city-baseball-case-jason-kendall-rod-stewart-sean-stewart-adderall-attention-deficit-hyperactive-disorder/#ixzz0hcUg7MyA

 

Wow. That is all.

If I had that mustache, I'd go batshit insane too.

Ever fascinate about climbing up a clock tower and picking people off?

...no? Um, me neither.

Worst 24 hours ever?

In the past 24 hours, the following things have happened. Guess which one is made up:

• My best friend had his car broken into with his wallet and cell phone stolen
• My future mother-in-law lost her job
• My fiancee and I have been jerked around by her employer, to the point where we don't know which coast we will be living on in two weeks' time
• I got in a car accident with my brother-in-law's car, meaning the car will probably have to be replaced. My brother and I received minor injuries and are both quite sore (but thankfully no one was seriously hurt).
• My sister called me a jerk and asked how my fiancee even puts up with me
• I rode a unicorn through a rainbow made of puppies while drinking the nectar of the gods at a ceremony celebrating my awesomeness

It's a bad day when the best thing that happens is that no one is seriously hurt. Also, it's apparently a bad day to be someone close to me.

Today in Fuck You

It's been a while since I've had a really vile, profanity-laced, self-indulging post. Today's target: United Airlines.

I've been on vacation in New Jersey for the last couple of days. So far, vacation is a strong word. More like visitation. I am visiting my pregnant sister and her two-year-old son while the man of the house is away on business. Today should be day four, but a little bit of snow closes the Newark airport for two days, apparently.

I know this now. I'm not sure United has ever learned that lesson. On Thursday I made it to the airport in the early morning to make my flight. My sister called me while I was standing in line at security to tell me to stay home. The airport had canceled all flights for the day.

The United employees did not know this. They shuffled me around until I found the only employee willing to help me. She changed my flight to the next day.

Friday, I woke up and called my sister. She said it was still snowing, so I went to United's website. No word on closures. So I looked for the appropriate 800-number for United. Their customer service line has no appropriate button to press for changing reservations when there's bad weather. I waited on hold for 17 minutes, listening to the same Gershwin song come through a bad connection, interrupted only with advertisements. Like this is the best time to sell me shit. Or, for that matter, remind me that I am a paying customer.

When I finally got through, I talked to a woman with a heavy Indian accent. I have no problem with outsourcing customer service. This is a free market. I do, however, wish that the person on the other end has command of the English language and the ability to communicate with me, without me having to say, "Beg your pardon? What? Could you repeat that? What did you say? Huh?" every other sentence. She also had not seen the weather report, as she had to take my word that it was indeed still snowing in Newark and that Continental had already canceled several flights into the airport.

I should note that Continental and United share a common ownership.

I was eventually able to change my flight, free of charge, and get here, which is nice, even if I had to sit in the middle row next to a guy coming back from the Olympics who had not bathed since he got there. But that's another story.

In conclusion, fuck you United airlines!

 

Bonus Fuck You! Fuck you, Denver Airport!

I had a 50-minute layover in Denver. In that time, I needed lunch, since United no longer serves so much as peanuts without charging. Unfortunately, the Denver airport has no quick food options. There were three sit-down bars, which would've been nice if I had two more hours. Also, a Ben & Jerry's, a Haagen-Daas, and a TCBY. One would think that cold cities wouldn't need so much ice cream. Also, several out-of-place high-end mall stores, in case I needed to buy a new massaging chair. Even the McDonald's, which had a mile-high line, didn't have a value menu. So I could've gotten a three-dollar Big Mac, but I had to buy a drink if I also wanted fries. Strange. I settled on a hot dog from the Sara Lee place. Very disappointing.

What would it take to get a fucking Sbarro, Denver? Or a Chipotle? It's based there, you know. Christ, I'd have settled for a Starbucks that sells bagels.

In conclusion, fuck you Denver airport!

While I am at it and apropos of nothing, fuck you Denver Broncos!

 

There. I feel better.