Monday, December 15, 2008

Even Santa is tired of Christmas carols

There’s an old joke that Jewish mothers tell each other: Why did God create Goyim (Gentiles)? Someone has to pay retail.

That joke has half of the truth embedded in it. The real reason Jews don’t pay retail is because, for two months every year, every retail store in the country blares Christmas carols incessantly.

I swear to God that if I have to listen to one more fucking “rock” rendition of “Jingle Bells” I’m going to burn down the nearest Gap. Seriously, working there has got to be worse than working at the post office. I know, nothing sells khakis like a jazz-infused version of “Silent Night,” but do you have to play it so loud that I can’t hear the salesman try to push a store credit card on me?

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