First off, let me apologize to both of my readers for the blog going dark for much of the past several weeks. I was busy plotting to overthrow the government moving and I am on a stolen borrowed stolen computer.
It’s probably for the better that I haven’t written much recently, anyway, because most of you would probably assume that I am the Grinch.
I’m not the Grinch. Really. I’m cool with Christmas. I do have my problems with the holiday season in modern America, however. That’s what I plan to address here.
First off, Chanukah is not Christmas, no matter how much Corporate America and your local pastor try to convince you that it is. Chanukah advent calendars (pictured below) are just wrong. So are Chanukah bushes and outdoor Chanukah lights to decorate my house with.
I appreciate those who do not want me to feel left out. Wish me a Merry Christmas or a Happy Holiday, give me a gift if you want, and enjoy the season. But if you really want to make me happy, you’ll realize that Chanukah is a small, trivial holiday in Judaism. Passover, Purim, Rosh HaShanah, Yom Kippur, and Sukkot are all more significant and yet for some reason Chanukah is the only one that gets any attention in this country.
Why is this? Because people, companies, and the government want to make a big deal out of Christmas without coming across as insensitive. Because Corporate America wants to sell stuff to Jews too. Because my Christian aunt wants to buy me things too.
There is no right solution. Even if we tried to move into our own country, our neighbors would lob missiles at us. So, I have two options: I can play along and let Chanukah morph into Christmas-lite or I can become disenfranchised. Those of you who know me already know my response. At this point, I might as well become disenfranchised about one more thing in life.
Or I can take option three: open a store selling shitty Chanukah trinkets to people like my Christian aunt. I might as well make a buck.
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